silent resolution of writing atleast something daily is no more a trade secret as there is someone doing black magic to find it..and also this has crossed the minimum 24 hrs time frame now ..
this noon had something in my mind to write when i saw people contiously entering int the four rised walls with a sharp rising cieling called temple and falling on the floor in the artificially heated interiors. all these people when walking on the roads in minus degrees, see a white person then they smile smile, wish good morning. when they see a black they get afraid and walk slowly away or avoid that route. and in this interior, seeing their brown people, they dont even try to make eye contact, but they try to be the socialized people and try to behave well by telling thank you and sorry. here falling on the ground they are telling they are beliving only that idol shaped figure as their ideal.
i went for prasadam, got it three times and also got my sweet share, so nothing for me. am noone to comment on them. just that was a thought. not gonna brood on it as now am not interested to write what i was thinking 12 hrs back..
confusing pattern rises all of a sudden in our life, but calling it sudden would be a wrong thing. it is part of the butterfly effect. it isvery hard to realise the things we have done to make such things happen. and we are grown up in such away that we cant accept it even if we find it.
luckily somehow i see me. i can stand out and see what i have done for me to become like this. only thing i dont understand is why was not i knowing the actual meaning and consequences of my action. i guess i dont think much. but i try to do the right things, still few of my actions really has no explanations. i would have completely not known about it, like a ball rolling between my legs.
it is always a long ride. you should start enjoying it. but when you get older rides become fearful. i dont want to get into that fear. so only i try to keep the boy in me alive always. but see, he is being suffocated. he has to do things like this, like that, then for this and that. he is hardly breathing. the day he dies or turns insane the man will become fully eligible for this society. her will be ruthless and live a atrocious life and die with fear. i am trying hard to stop that. but driving the car this noon i was feeling the boy is fading somewhere. he is losing his roots. ther is noone to nourish it. give it the nutrients required. he is afraid that he might do more mistakes, so he is sitting in the dark corner and trying to hold on to the crushing door from killing him.
someday i would read all this hopefully, and i would laugh at myself either as a boy or man. if it is the boy then the laugh will be fun, if it is the man then the laugh woulf be hollow and empty..
y boy and y man? y not none?
this noon had something in my mind to write when i saw people contiously entering int the four rised walls with a sharp rising cieling called temple and falling on the floor in the artificially heated interiors. all these people when walking on the roads in minus degrees, see a white person then they smile smile, wish good morning. when they see a black they get afraid and walk slowly away or avoid that route. and in this interior, seeing their brown people, they dont even try to make eye contact, but they try to be the socialized people and try to behave well by telling thank you and sorry. here falling on the ground they are telling they are beliving only that idol shaped figure as their ideal.
i went for prasadam, got it three times and also got my sweet share, so nothing for me. am noone to comment on them. just that was a thought. not gonna brood on it as now am not interested to write what i was thinking 12 hrs back..
confusing pattern rises all of a sudden in our life, but calling it sudden would be a wrong thing. it is part of the butterfly effect. it isvery hard to realise the things we have done to make such things happen. and we are grown up in such away that we cant accept it even if we find it.
luckily somehow i see me. i can stand out and see what i have done for me to become like this. only thing i dont understand is why was not i knowing the actual meaning and consequences of my action. i guess i dont think much. but i try to do the right things, still few of my actions really has no explanations. i would have completely not known about it, like a ball rolling between my legs.
it is always a long ride. you should start enjoying it. but when you get older rides become fearful. i dont want to get into that fear. so only i try to keep the boy in me alive always. but see, he is being suffocated. he has to do things like this, like that, then for this and that. he is hardly breathing. the day he dies or turns insane the man will become fully eligible for this society. her will be ruthless and live a atrocious life and die with fear. i am trying hard to stop that. but driving the car this noon i was feeling the boy is fading somewhere. he is losing his roots. ther is noone to nourish it. give it the nutrients required. he is afraid that he might do more mistakes, so he is sitting in the dark corner and trying to hold on to the crushing door from killing him.
someday i would read all this hopefully, and i would laugh at myself either as a boy or man. if it is the boy then the laugh will be fun, if it is the man then the laugh woulf be hollow and empty..
y boy and y man? y not none?
No comments:
Post a Comment